Marriage through the eyes of a Titus 2 Wanna-be
Hey all, I’m Lael over at Tattooed Momma and Tamara and I go back years! I knew her right after I got out of high school and she was such a rad girl even back then. She recently had asked me if I would do a guest spot, and I immediately yelped, “YES!”. I in turn asked for her to reciprocate and gladly she did, so come on over and check out her guest post on Tattooed Momma!
Joshua and I just celebrated 5 years of marriage and let me tell you, respectively it feels like 50 years. We have experienced a great deal through the short 1,827 days we’ve been joined as one flesh. We’ve counseled at-risk teens, given shelter to the homeless, moved across country by the leading of Jesus, and naturally birthed a 9lb 4oz baby. God has been faithful every step of the way.
We are two very stubborn, prideful and sinful people who want nothing more than Soli Deo Gloria, for God to be glorified in our every thought and deed.
Just like Motherhood, marriage is not for the faint-hearted and should not be walked into lightly.
Joshua and I had started our life together with some unreal expectations which in turn has caused turmoil. Throughout all the strife, by the grace of God, we’ve managed to stick it out. We love one another dearly and as time passes, have come to even adore the nitpicky annoyances that used to drive us crazy. So with that, I’m letting you in on what we have found that works best for us in keeping a thriving marriage.
I strongly recommend to befriend a couple who has been married 20 years or more and that are in love. Find a couple that you want to be like in 10 years and listen and learn.
· Keep Jesus central and pray. No matter where you are in your marriage, newly married or a vetern, keeping Jesus as the foundation will not only keep you’re eyes focused on what’s important in this life, but walking in His strength will keep you humble in heart. Purpose in your heart to pray for your Husband and then do it.
· Be transparent. Always have the communication lines open and never assume that the other knows how you feel or why you are upset. If you don’t tell him, how would he know?
· Argue much? No matter who is wrong in the situation, it is SO important to be filled with love for the other person. It’s easy to to throw accusation around and hold onto bitterness, but as his wife nothing good will ever become of it and will actually cause you two to grow apart fairly quickly. There are never 1 sided arguments, which means both parties are at fault in some manner.
· Can I have a Do-Over? This phrase has been one of the most powerful things spoken in our marriage. It conveys remorse and repentance. It also lets the other person extend mercy and forgiveness which is exactly what the person needs.
· RRepent. When we are wrong and the relationship needs reconciliation, we make sure to ask for forgiveness, instead of just saying we’re sorry. By not doing this you are just making your consionce feel better, while seeking forgiveness not only do we show how truly apologetic we are but it causes the other person to really vocally extend mercy and pretty much inihilates any harboring bitterness from the argument, actions ect. This walks hand in hand with “Can I have a do-over”.
· Be respectful. More often than not, a woman’s heart is connected through her ears, while a man’s heart is connected through his eyes and ears. My negative tone of voice and body language is one of the quickest ways that I know can hurt my Husband. A man gives his love when he feels respected, and a woman gives her love and devotion when she feels loved.
· Date. You may have heard this cheesy line before, but it’s SO true. When you “date” your spouse, it really helps re-light a fire that may need rekindling. Have fun and smile when your around them, no one wants to be around a “Debbie downer”. Play games. Joshua and I play “eye spy” when we’re driving or another favorite is, “What I like about you best is”. i.e. “eye spy something green and brown…my favorite tattoo of his. “what I like about you best is, your dedication to your family and that you never complain about how hard you have to work”. Write notes in his lunch, text throughout the day.
· Tell him. Tell him what you really think of him. This will not only deepen your love for him, but most likely in return will reciprocate. It’s a great way to not only reaffirm him as a man, but also strengthen your marriage.
When we counsel or talk to young married couples, we always bring them back to the gospel and how it pertains to their situation. Ready to review? Keep Jesus central and pray, be transparent, can I have a do-over, repent, be respectful, date and tell him.
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