Better Together with Meg from Kent Park

Meg lives in (chilly) Rochester, New York with her husband Kyle and son Miles. She blogs here and instagrams here. If you want to read more about Meg go here.

I had some trouble deciding what to write about for this series. I showed my husband, Kyle, a post that I wrote and he pointed out how it didn't really fit the theme "Better Together"... at all. I then spent the whole of Monday evening agonizing over what to write until Kyle offered an idea, "Why don't you just write about how we as a couple are better because the three of us are together." .........Brillant! Here are some reasons why my relationship is better with my husband because we are now a family of three!

We're better because there are more opportunities to be selfless.

Have a baby presents a lot of opportunities for you to put your partner first. While there was nothing inhibiting us from putter each other first pre-baby it was just not as blatantly obvious how we could do it as it is now. Taking care of a baby is a vary tangible way to show your partner you care about them. When the baby is crying in the middle of the night it's easy for Kyle to know how to put me first. When Kyle stays up half the night with a teething baby it's clear how I can put him first (let him sleep in!) It can still be hard to actually carry out these selfless actions, but they are just more frequent and easier to spot. All these opportunities to put each other first have brought us closer together.

We're better because we're happier. 

I've had a good life and happy marriage. My husband and I had some great times before baby Miles came along. But the sheer joy we feel from having our baby with us is something completely different. From the moment we knew I was pregnant until now I've been ecstatically happy. For the first few weeks we had Miles I could cry every day because I was just so. darn. happy. I know what you're thinking but it wasn't because of the ass crazy hormones or sleepless delirium! We laugh so much every day. Having this joy has definitely made me a better wife and Kyle a better husband.

We're better because we're worked as a team.

Having a baby showed us how important it is to work together, and how working as team brings you closer to your partner. In the same way as poeple on sports teams, mission trips, or music groups build butter relationships by struggling together through the ups and downs of common task, we have felt this. There is a camaraderie that is strengthened by working together as a team.

There are many other reason why having a baby has made our marriage stronger and I'm sure as the months and years come and go we'll discover even more! It's been amazing to experience this adventure together.

Better Together is a mini series where I'll be featuring a few of my blog friends who are new moms. We all are figuring out what it looks like to reconnect and relate as a couple in light of parenthood. If you would like to contribute contact me at t_varnado@hotmail.com

Better Together with Olivia from For Me

Olivia is a stay at home mom of one living in Portland, OR. She is a Young Life leader, lover of organization and passionate about community and relationships. She, on occasion, blogs over here 
(trying to get back into it post baby), instagrams here and pins here.

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My husband and I are very different. We were raised different, communicate different, have different philosophies on parts of life. I've always counted this as a good thing in the long run, that we would sharpen each other, challenge each other and help each other to grow. However, over the last few years and the beginning of our marriage, it has been known to pull out tension in us.

Our daughter had complications when she was born in August. She aspirated fluid in her lungs when she came out and had to be rushed to the NICU to be put on a ventilator. After 5 days with lots of complications, ups and downs, and the healing power of Jesus, I'm grateful to say we got to take home a healthy, happy girl with no long term effects whatsoever.

Those 5 days in the hospital changed our marriage. Our daughter felt like this first thing that my husband and I felt the EXACT same about. Our love for her and our fight for her life was in unison. The Lord, as always, used a hard situation to bring my husband and I closer than we have ever been. I was so in love with him watching him take care of me, and our daughter so well. Those parts of our personalities that were not in sync didn't matter during that time.

In these past 5 months of being new parents, we have tried to hold onto this truth. We pray that our sweet girl continues to bring us closer together and never apart. We love her the same, she means so much to both of us and there shouldn't be anything like contrasting parenting approaches to make us drift apart.

A few things I have learned along the way:

1 //  Know that the way your husband goes about things; changes diapers, bedtime routine, so many little things, is going to look a little different than the way you do it. Choose not to correct them as dads, let them do it the way they want to. It's not wrong, just different.

2 // Continue to look at the bigger picture. You created life together, there is nothing more special than that.

3 // Your relationship with The Lord comes first, then your marriage, then your child. Don't get this order mixed up or make your child an idol in your life.

4// Turn off the TV (still working on this one...) We haven't had many date nights out without our girl and we can't always do that so we need to make quality time out of the time we do have together. We're trying to get creative but it's hard, we are lazy... Card games? Suggestions welcome.

Praying for us all, that we see a little bit of the way our Creator loves us because of the new, real, unconditional love that we have for our children and hopefully our husbands too.

1 Corinthians 13:7 // Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

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Better Together is a mini series where I'll be featuring a few of my blog friends who are new moms. We all are figuring out what it looks like to reconnect and relate as a couple in light of parenthood. If you would like to contribute contact me at t_varnado@hotmail.com

I'm over at Dream Up Wonder today!

Mary from Dream Up Wonder asked to feature my instagram on her blog. She has a great roundup of other instagramers too. Thanks Mary!

I'm over at Life Blessons

Carmen is running a new series on her blog, Life Blessons, about Redeeming Motherhood. 

You can find my story here. If your clicking over from Life Blessons, welcome.
I believe the link to my birth story didn't connect due to my blog url change. You can find my birth story here.

Sponsor Highlight: Mary in Marriedland

Mary lives in East Tennessee with her husband James and works full-time as a Registered Dietitian. She is married to her college sweetheart. Mary is a Christian, a follower of Jesus, and she writes love letters to Him often. Her passion is eating and teaching about real food and nutrition.

I asked Mary why she blogs and she responded "I blog because I believe we all have a story and God wants us to share it to bring Him glory! So... go share your story! Only you can!"

You can find Mary blogging at Mary in Marriedland.

Check out her recent entry: Dear readers

5 facts about mary:

(1) she cannot sleep without a fan & face mask!
(2) the day she cut bangs changed her life.
(3) she has a serious connection to her camera.
(4) she has always lived in TN & eventually wants to venture out.
(5) she wants 2-3 kiddos!!


Thanks Mary!

For Me's Dwell Series

I'm over at For Me today.

Guest Post: Tattooed Momma

Marriage through the eyes of a Titus 2 Wanna-be

Hey all, I’m Lael over at Tattooed Momma and Tamara and I go back years! I knew her right after I got out of high school and she was such a rad girl even back then. She recently had asked me if I would do a guest spot, and I immediately yelped, “YES!”. I in turn asked for her to reciprocate and gladly she did, so come on over and check out her guest post on Tattooed Momma!

Joshua and I just celebrated 5 years of marriage and let me tell you, respectively it feels like 50 years. We have experienced a great deal through the short 1,827 days we’ve been joined as one flesh. We’ve counseled at-risk teens, given shelter to the homeless, moved across country by the leading of Jesus, and naturally birthed a 9lb 4oz baby. God has been faithful every step of the way.

We are two very stubborn, prideful and sinful people who want nothing more than Soli Deo Gloria, for God to be glorified in our every thought and deed.

Just like Motherhood, marriage is not for the faint-hearted and should not be walked into lightly.

Joshua and I had started our life together with some unreal expectations which in turn has caused turmoil. Throughout all the strife, by the grace of God, we’ve managed to stick it out. We love one another dearly and as time passes, have come to even adore the nitpicky annoyances that used to drive us crazy. So with that, I’m letting you in on what we have found that works best for us in keeping a thriving marriage.

I strongly recommend to befriend a couple who has been married 20 years or more and that are in love. Find a couple that you want to be like in 10 years and listen and learn.

·        Keep Jesus central and pray. No matter where you are in your marriage, newly married or a vetern, keeping Jesus as the foundation will not only keep you’re eyes focused on what’s important in this life, but walking in His strength will keep you humble in heart. Purpose in your heart to pray for your Husband and then do it.

·        Be transparent. Always have the communication lines open and never assume that the other knows how you feel or why you are upset. If you don’t tell him, how would he know?

·         Argue much? No matter who is wrong in the situation, it is SO important to be filled with love for the other person. It’s easy to to throw accusation around and hold onto bitterness, but as his wife nothing good will ever become of it and will actually cause you two to grow apart fairly quickly. There are never 1 sided arguments, which means both parties are at fault in some manner.

·          Can I have a Do-Over? This phrase has been one of the most powerful things  spoken in our marriage. It conveys remorse and repentance. It also lets the other person extend mercy and forgiveness which is exactly what the person needs.

·      RRepent. When we are wrong and the relationship needs reconciliation, we make sure to ask for forgiveness, instead of just saying we’re sorry. By not doing this you are just making your consionce feel better, while seeking forgiveness not only do we show how truly apologetic we are but it causes the other person to really vocally extend mercy and pretty much inihilates any harboring bitterness from the argument, actions ect. This walks hand in hand with “Can I have a do-over”.

·          Be respectful. More often than not, a woman’s heart is connected through her ears, while a man’s heart is connected through his eyes and ears. My negative tone of voice and body language is one of the quickest ways that I know can hurt my Husband. A man gives his love when he feels respected, and a woman gives her love and devotion when she feels loved.

·          Date. You may have heard this cheesy line before, but it’s SO true. When you “date” your spouse, it really helps re-light a fire that may need rekindling. Have fun and smile when your around them, no one wants to be around a “Debbie downer”. Play games. Joshua and I play “eye spy” when we’re driving or another favorite is, “What I like about you best is”.  i.e. “eye spy something green and brown…my favorite tattoo of his. “what I like about you best is, your dedication to your family and that you never complain about how hard you have to work”. Write notes in his lunch, text throughout the day.

·        Tell him. Tell him what you really think of him. This will not only deepen your love for him, but most likely in return will reciprocate. It’s a great way to not only reaffirm him as a man, but also strengthen your marriage.

When we counsel or talk to young married couples, we always bring them back to the gospel and how it pertains to their situation. Ready to review? Keep Jesus central and pray, be transparent, can I have a do-over, repent, be respectful, date and tell him. 

Read me over here

Today you can find me over at Life of the Liles.

Thanks Carrie for guest posting and for having me guest post on your blog.

Read my post about all things DIY.

Now, I'm going back to enjoy every last minute of our last day on vacation.

Guest Post: Life of the Lilies

I am so excited to be guest bloggin' for a.toodle.lee.do!  First of all, who doesn't just LOVE saying that name...so fun!  And second of all, who doesn't just adore this blog!  So...Hi!  I am CarrieJo! 

As I am soaking in the summer I thought I would share with you some of my favorite things this summer...

I love taking evening walks when the air is just right...and then looking over and seeing wild flowers on the trail that are just asking to be picked and taken home to be displayed in a cute vase!

I love getting wrapped up in a good book that you can't put down!  This has been my summer favorite so far and I highly suggest it!

Tank tops and flip flops!  Ah I love a good solid tank top!  They go with everything...casual or dressy, depending on how you accessorize.  I snagged these at Target and they fit "just right"...it is hard to find the perfect tank but I think I may have!  And flip flops...you can't go wrong there!

I love actually having the time to water the plants.  This plant may not have many flowers on it, but at least I am keeping it green!  I am trying!  :)

Nothing tops a glass of ice cold lemonade on a hot day!  I found these at World Market and they were so tasty!  My favorite was the Mango Lemonade!  (Sorry I drank them before I snapped a picture!)

I love having these two (Russ and Audrey) following me around all day!

I couldn't go without Bath and Body Works 100% Shea Butter!  This stuff is incredible!  And another great thing about summer...their Semi-Annual Sale...a great chance to stock up on some of your favorite things for a fraction of the regular price!

Guest Post:: Life Blessons by Carmen

Even though it's Easter time, when pastels are painted everywhere and children pluck prizes from clumps grass, there's an element of this story that we seem to gloss over.

And it begins not just here with Christ's death and resurrection but at his birth, which we celebrate when the world has turned cold and icy.
It's good to be reminded of this: how the story starts, as well as how it ends.

Philip Yancey presents this beginning poignantly in his book "The Jesus I Never Knew," as he talked about the scandalousness of Christ's birth--an unwed teenager who is told by an angel that she's going to have a baby who will be the Messiah:

[Mary replied to the angel], "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said." Often a work of God comes with two edges, great joy and great pain...Mary embraced both. She was the first person to accept Jesus on his own terms, regardless of the personal cost.
Today as I read the accounts of Jesus' birth I tremble to think of the fate of the world resting on the response of two rural teenagers....it seems that God arranged the most humiliating circumstances possible for his entrance, as if to avoid any charge of favoritism.
(from Yancey's "The Jesus I Never Knew")

And to think that this humiliation was only beginning...it followed him from birth all the way through death.

Today is Good Friday, the day of that death, when the curtain ripped from top to bottom and hope--of all things--flooded the earth.

It is from that death, that humiliation that we find hope, redemption, freedom.

-- Carmen from Life Blessons (http://lifeblessons.blogspot.com)

Guest Post: For me by Olivia

hi friends!! Olivia here from For Me.

I recently went through a big transition in my life. I quit my day job and am venturing out to start a business of my own! {you can read a little bit about this transition and how i got to that point on my guest post here on wild & precious} It has been so super wonderful so far, working on staying encouraged and positive as I am sure it is a slow start for any new business.

my current task: home office. some favorites & inspiration so far:

Source: stylizimo.blogspot.com via Olivia on Pinterest

Source: coisadelilly.wordpress.com via Olivia on Pinterest

Source: madebygirl.blogspot.com via Olivia on Pinterest