Wells Birth Story

This past week as my friends have stopped in to meet Wells, I've spilled my birth story out. I haven't told the story once without crying. As I process the experience, I understand more and cope better. The tears are still there, but not pouring water fountains. The steamy fountains may come and go, but as I hold Wells it is all worth it. My birth experience was not what we trained for. Hoped for. Or ever could have imagined, but I see God in each moment. I see him directing us. His leading helped us when we were weak and had to make tough decisions. He helped us to trust our midwife. He carried us through each stage of labor and delivery. I see this now. I am so thankful for my story. We learned so much about love, trust, faith, and birth. I'm forever changed. Please continue to read as I tell my story. I tried not leave much detail out.

It all started upon waking up at 6 AM on Thursday morning. I stepped out of bed and had two gushes of liquid spill onto the floor while trying to waddle to the bathroom. In the bathroom, I lost my mucous plug. I hurried to the staircase and called down to Ted who was getting ready for work. 'It might be happening. My water just broke!!' He rushed upstairs and we let the moment sink in. He was still skeptical at this point that my contractions would pick up right away. As contractions started almost immediately and coming 5 minutes apart. He let work know he wasn't coming in.

We watched a show on our DVR as I sat on my birth ball and breathed through contractions. We knew we wanted to labor at home as long as possible. So, taking it easy from the get go was exactly what we planned. With contractions continuing at 5 minutes apart all morning, we agreed upon getting our favorite pizza for lunch. I also had Ted pick up ice from the pizza shop because it's the best (like sonic's ice) to bring with us later on.

I finally called the birth center in the afternoon and let them know what was going on. I kind of mentioned the gush of water and losing my mucous plug giving no recollection of when it took place. The midwife on call urged us to come in so she could listen to the baby and we could discuss a plan on whether we wanted to stay or go home to labor. I also called my chiropractor to make an appointment for him to adjust me into active labor if things need to be sped up since my water had broke or so I thought. We made it to the birth center which is 45 minutes away from where we live and baby sounded great. She tested the fluid and we were relieved to know my water did not break. (I guess it was loads of leakage earlier which had never in my life happened before.) This released us from any timeline of giving birth so we were very relieved. I let her check me for dilatation and I had progressed to 4 cm. The day before at my normal visit I was only 1 cm dilated. Things were moving and contractions were still about 5 minutes apart.

We came home and continued our relaxation techniques. Soon my contractions were coming 2 minutes apart for about 6 hours. I canceled my chiropractor appointment that evening. We continued our rhythm of labor. I had loads of back labor and Ted helped with counter pressure through each one. Let me put a plug in right here for Ted. He was amazing. He coached me through breathing, relaxation, and exercises the entire time never leaving my side. In the middle of the night, we called the midwife and we decided to head to the birth center as my contractions were very intense and coming less than two minutes apart.

At the birth center, Ted & I continued what we were doing at home. About 1 hour into us being there, the midwife wanted to check me for dilation. Ted asked if we could wait another hour. Our hope in our labor was to be checked as little as possible and the initial check to be after we were into a groove after arriving at the birth center. She gave push back. I pushed back harder. Don't mess with a woman in labor! No one's going to pry my legs open in order to check. She backed down and left us alone for 2 hours having the nurse check in on us and baby. Things were a little tense with that midwife and after she finally checked me and I was still only 4 cm. After a little talk between me and Ted, we decided we wanted to go back home for the remainder of the night.

She gave me benadryl and suggested we try and sleep at home and to come back when we felt like it. From 3 am till around mid morning we slept between contractions. My contractions were coming every now about every 3 minutes. We both would fall asleep and the moment I started to feel one coming, I'd call out to Ted and he'd give me counter pressure on my lower back. Thankfully even if it was between contractions we did sleep some even for just 1 minute. Oddly, after every third contraction I would need to pee. Ted would help me to the bathroom and we probably have 2-3 contractions on our way and way back to bed.

Once we got out of bed for the day, we set up areas to alternate around the house. My contractions starting getting more intense again and it took more concentration to work through them. Ted helped me squat, do hands and knees, take baths, and sit on my birth ball. We spoke with our Bradley teacher who is also a doula and she suggested some exercises to get the baby in the right position to give pressure to open dilate me more. We did some of the suggested exercises and some from spinning babies. The side-lying release seemed to help with contractions and was relaxing.

Around 5 pm, I missed a call from the birth center and listened to the voicemail. I started to cry when I heard the midwife's voice. It was my favorite midwife on call. Before calling her back, I turned to Ted and said, 'I can have this baby NOW Julie is on call tonight!' I felt like if anything emotionally was holding me back than I could release it. I called Julie back and gave her an update. She told me to come to the birth center when I felt I was ready. We stayed home laboring for about 4 more hours before we left.

We arrived at the birth center for the second time around 11pm Friday night. Julie helped us set up in our birth room and gave us some space to get into a groove. She came back about 1 hour later to inform us she needed to transfer another laboring woman to the hospital. We were bummed, but she assured us we were in good hands as another midwife, Gazelle, was going to take over for her. The other midwife happened to be my other favorite midwife. She is the most hippie, natural, crunchy, and so sweet midwife at TBC (the birth center). We were pleased with having her care for us.

She came in and gave us really good exercises to do. She suggested lots of different kinds of lunges to work through during contractions. Most uncomfortable way to labor, but I was willing to do anything to speed up this process. After awhile of working through the exercises, she came back in the room and asked if I wanted to sit on the birth ball in the shower and Ted could use the shower head to shoot water on my back during contractions. Sounded great and it was. Actually, it was amazing. The water was calming. Sitting on the birth ball was always my favorite position and now with hot water steaming on my back, it was divine. We labored in the shower by candlelight for a few hours (poor Ted was drinking coffee constantly to stay awake as it was such a relaxing atmosphere at wee hours of the morning).

When we got out and were moving around, Gazelle suggested she check me and see where we were. By the intense contractions I had been experiences for now several hours I was bummed to find out we were only at about 5cm. She said she would come in to talk with us in hour to see what we should do next. She encouraged us that we were doing great working through this labor and to try and rest between contractions. Earlier in the night she had suggested we think about taking morphine in order to sleep. She asked if we were familiar with this. We were. A few of my friends have taken morphine to sleep and hopefully dilate more.

When she came to speak with us an hour later, we thought we would be discussing the morphine possibility. Instead, she had us floored. She started off by warning us 'You are going to be surprised at what I have to talk with you about. You know I am the most natural midwife at TBC and I stretch the limits the most.' We nodded in agreement. I was thinking 'Yes this is why we love you'. Then, she explained where we were in our labor process.

Basically, the baby was not engaged and there was no pressure on my cervix so I was not dilating. I was having intense contractions and they have been going on for more than two days. She was very concerned about my uterus being damaged by the hard labor. If we could have been able to break my water, we would have dilated right away. But, as we knew before labor started, my fluid levels have always been very high. Thus it would be dangerous to artificially break my water because the waters could push a hand or the cord out.

Here is the shocking advice. She wanted us to go to the hospital and get an epidural. We both were stunned. WTF? Why? Gazelle told us that she believe this the only reason epidurals should be used. When the uterus is in question of wearing out and the baby has not come down. She explained giving my uterus a break would be the best thing in the long run. Also, the baby may come down on his own if my uterus wasn't contracting so hard. My body needed a break. I knew Gazelle had been a home midwife for 25 years prior to coming on at TBC so I asked if she would have the same advice if she was delivering at my home. She said yes.

My biggest fear in pregnancy was having to be transferred to the hospital. My biggest dream was to have a home birth. Ted met me in the middle at TBC. But, never in my life have I considered getting an epidural. My mind couldn't wrap around the idea. Natural birth is dear to me. It's what I want. Its hard but I'm loving the experience. After about an hour of calling our Bradley birth teacher at 5 am and then discussing between ourselves, we didn't see any other way. We trusted our midwife's advice. It was hard pill to swallow transferring to the hospital. I was disappointed but I knew it was the best thing. Especially to avoid an emergency transfer.

We got to the hospital around 6AM on Saturday morning and Gazelle had to hand us off to the midwife on call at the hospital. (TBC had rights at a hospital nearby for non-emergency transfers. The midwives are your care provider supervised by the doctor at the hospital and accompanied by the hospital nurses.) I had never met the on call midwife, Anne. She happened to be a amazing and also from New Orleans.

I was extremely scared to get the epidural. But, I did.

And, I absolutely hated it.

Everything was stripped away and taken from me as I laid paralyzed in bed. The last few days of bonding with Ted and working together to bring our son into the world wasn't so hard anymore. It was different. I didn't feel anything. The experience was not the same and I didn't like it  one bit of it. I was hungry and thirsty, but couldn't eat or drink. I had wires tangling around me because of the IVs and monitors. Yuck.

But, we did sleep. That was a relief since we had slept very, very little since the start of labor. We talked. And, we waited. Early afternoon, I was progressing and was dilated to 7cm. This was exciting and soon after my water broke. The midwife and nurses laughed and scrambled as they had never seen so much fluid EVER. Waterfalls over the bed, it was quite the scene. After my water broke, I dilated to 10 cm within no time. We started talking about getting ready to push. I sent my friends and loved ones a cheerful text around 7:30 Saturday evening 'should be pushing within the hour!!!!'. It was surreal. I still had no pain. My mom and birth photographer were helping me prep. Hair. Make-up. Ted was feeding me ice chips like no ones business. I was starving and thirsty. I was dreaming of holding my baby boy, eating, and drinking.

It's time. Deep breath and PUSH. Again. Again. And again.

The problem here is I can not feel anything. I felt like I was fake pushing. I felt like I was just straining my face. Ted, my midwife, and nurse all assured me that I was giving the best pushes. Since I couldn't feel, I had to trust them. We pushed for more than an hour and our midwife told us he was not moving down. She again encouraged me that I was pushing great, but his head was turned in a way that he was not budging. He was sunny side up (which we knew earlier on in labor) with his head turned. She said we would continue to push but would need to talk if there was no change. So, we pushed for another hour. No change. She asked us what we wanted to do.

We wanted to push. I wanted to push. Ted wanted me to push. I thought 'Why would God lead us all the way here and not be able to birth him vaginally?!'. I had hope that he'd come. Ted prayed & pleaded that we could push him out. We wanted to push. They said the would give us 3 hours to push and then talk again.

Well, soon after the first hours of pushing my epidural wore off completely. I was flooded with insane contractions. Having no pain for hours and then all the pain and pressure to push. Oh my goodness. It was intense. It was hard. I had no warning of the pain. I had no build up to this level of intensity. It all happened at once. It was hard work. But, we were deteremined. We pushed for 3 hours with no change. My midwife called the doctor in. We were all sad he was too far in to use anything to try and help him come out. They slowly started breaking the news to us that we may have to have a C-section.

This crushed me. This crushed Ted. We so wanted a natural birth. We so wanted a vaginal birth. This is the biggest discussion of our lives. We have 30 seconds between pushing to discuss what we need to do. The staff and midwife gave us about an hour to make our discussion which was more of coming to terms with the C-section. Ted was crying. I was trembling. We were scared. BUT, we were ready for our son. We were ready to hold him. Smell him. Touch him. Feed him. Care for him.

I was transfered to the OR while Ted changed into scrubs. I was still having pushing contractions without being able to push while being transported. It was horrible. I was shaking, screaming, moo-ing, and scared out of my mind.

In the OR, I was given a spinal. That was horrible. I felt like someone was standing on my chest. I couldn't swallow and spit was pooling in my throat. I was so sleepy and it took everything within me to stay alert. I kept repeating in my head 'Wells is coming. You are going to hear your baby. You are going to see your baby.' Ted came into the OR kissing my forehand and holding my hand. I watched Ted as he watched the surgeon open me up (Ted is brave. Braver than I.) and pull our son out of my belly. I saw Ted face soften. I saw him fall in love. I heard my babies sweet cry. And just as they were handing him to Ted, I started to gag. I immediately had a plastic tub in front of my face. Ted was trying to show me our baby. Finally, I stopped gagging and I saw him. I was in love.

Soon they had me closed up. Ted left to meet me in the recovering room with our baby. It wasn't long before I was wheeled to recovering. My baby was placed on my chest and tears were streaming down my face. Wells lifted his head, self attached and began nursing. It wasn't the full on breast crawl, but it was still so special to me. I nursed him skin to skin.

Wells Emerson Ohman born Sunday, July 28 at 1:22 am.

I'm so thankfully for such a long labor. The first few days was a gift. The fact that me & Ted worked together to labor us so special to me. I needed those two days of intense contractions for the experience. It was my favorite part of my labor process. I now know the epidural experience and it is not for me. My heart breaks for anyone having to experience an unplanned c-section. God really lead us through our birth. Each decision we made was tough and went against everything we believe in (birth wise), but we had peace and felt God's leading grace. I'm so thankful that we were able to labor for over two days naturally, fully dilate, and push. We were able to try everything we could to give birth vaginally. We gave it our ALL. And in the end, our ALL was well worth it. Honestly, I don't know if I could have made the discussion to transfer to the hospital if I had another midwife suggesting it. I'm so thankful that for Julie, Gazelle, and Anne. They were angels to me.

The C-section was the scariest thing I have ever been through. Recovery has been ongoing. But, I'd do it all again. Wells has been so precious. He has melted our hearts and changed our lives forever. We are so in love. Thanks for reading our story.

Birth photos coming soon...