Progress

recently, i heard someone explain emotional pain as a reason for personal growth. i agree, i just haven't actually put it in words like this. over the past few years, i've learned heaps. most of all, i've learned a lot about who i am & the condition of my own heart. it's been painful. lonely. discouraging. and helpful.

tears have poured like a gushing waterfall. my heart has ached as if it were literally pulled into pieces. the emotional journey that i've experienced has been a blessing amidst the difficulty. when i think back to the beginning & remember the initial pain, i had no idea who i would become because of it.

i'm grateful for the way god has used this last couple years to bring me to know him more. if it weren't for the ache of my heart, would i have learned so much?

this year has had far too many unexpected twists. today was the kind of day that sucked the life out of me. the moment someone turns to introduce them self to you at church, stops mid-greeting when they notice your a hot mess crying. lets just say it was heavy stream of tears throughout the day. emotional wreck, twenty-twelve.

some good points in today though. like a phone call to a friend back home. my brother whom always smears a smile across my face. texts from friends around the globe that made today just that much more bearable. i fail. often. i'm trying to live with my hands free from clenching. letting go of trying to make sense of things that make no sense.

maybe i've fallen off the blogroll because i don't know what to say this year has been tough. different. not more tough then past years but a different type of tough. one where i sometime i just wish i had a listening ear.

but, i have high hopes for these last three months of the year. things are looking UP