I've thought long and hard over an awful happening.
Each time I think of it I cringe inside and feel extremely defeated.
I wish I knew what to do to make it all right.
One of the busiest weeks of our lives was the week we got married. Since my family didn't live in town and all my friends had full time jobs, Ted & I hustled to get all the last minute things for the wedding. It all boiled down to the rehearsal dinner. We actually hate talking about it. Thinking of it. And wish we for God sake could go back in time. Ted made a HUGE mistake and didn't invite a friend to our rehearsal dinner. Actually, not even that he didn't invite her... He simply asked a groomsmen to tell her not to come. He thought this would be best. I don't even understand his reasoning today.
If only... He would have called me.
It was bad. Beyond bad.
I had no clue until later that evening. I was crushed because I knew that everyone thought it was my fault. I didn't know what to do in the moment. I didn't even know anything about the whole situation. I asked someone if I should call that night and talk it out. I was advised not to but I wish I had.
My heart hurts over this for many reasons.
My heart hurts because it really destroyed something great.
My heart hurts because it really affected my last single night with my friends.
My heart hurts because I really don't know what to do even now to make it better.
The night before my wedding and the next day until I was almost all ready was so hard. I was so sad. Upset. And I had no idea how to fix anything. I so badly wanted to make everything right but I didn't know how. I didn't have time to think... I was getting married.
Drama. Drama. Drama. Most drama I've ever experienced in my entire life. To this day, Ted hates discussing it because he knows it's the worst decision he has made. It really still is such a sore spot which makes me so sad because everything about our wedding was so great except this. Because I feel so weird and cringe-y, I have the worse foot-in-the-mouth syndrom over this whole situation. I never know what to say because I never felt like it ever was resolved.